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POSITIVE COMMUNICATION

Your Profile photo and description are key to the start of your potential relationship. So be sure to get them right!


USA Music Dating have teamed up with professional writer and blogger 'Meena Avery' to give you the inside knowledge of the world of music, love and romance.

Meena Avery

Find out more about Meena at
Impress Me Please

PICK UP WOMEN ONLINE

When you browse through the hundreds of online dating profiles what is the first thing you look at? The profile picture. Based on that alone you decide if her profile is worth viewing (if you read it at all), and/or if a girl is worth sending a message too. The message you send dictates whether she writes you back or moves on to one of the other messages she's gotten that day. That is why to be successful at online dating you need to know how to write a pick up message that women want to respond to.

The first thing any of us do when a man or woman sends us a message is look at the profile photo and then we look at the details. As a woman I find a man's list of interests are often slim, and the descriptive part lacking, but the deciding factor on whether or not I respond to a message is how a guy looks in his picture and the content of the message he sends.

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"The most important elements to remember are: leave your shirt on, take off your hat, smile and don't hold up a gun."

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Let's talk about the profile photo first. The most important elements to remember are: leave your shirt on, take off your hat, smile and don't hold up a gun. If you accomplish posting a profile photo that meets those requirements you will have a lot more success. Then work on the content of your message. Sometimes guys send messages that range from a simple "hi" all the way to a page long that read like a resume of qualifications of why he deserves a response. Neither of those options are appealing. The brief "hi" dosen't tell me you actually read my profile, but neither does the cut and paste novel of a message either. The best messages are short and sweet with one detail that lets me know he took the time to read my profile. Women want to feel wanted for who they are so if you're a guy you need to appeal to a woman by writing something like this:

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"A woman wants to know you found her attractive, you were interested in something specific about her................"

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Hi, I came across your profile today and noticed your beautiful (insert a feature here like her eyes, or smile). When reading your profile I noticed we both enjoy going out to hear live music (or whatever other common interest listed). Have you been to see any good shows lately?

My name is ______ and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

(Sign name)

A woman wants to know you found her attractive, you were interested in something specific about her, and you want to get to know her for who she is. When you inquire about something she has done by asking a question it demonstrates that you are interested in getting to know her.

A little bit of effort goes a long way. Even if you cut and paste the message and fill in the blank each time based on a different interest (which I'm not advocating) you will still be required to read her profile and come up with at least one question for her. In that case, a little cut and paste is acceptable because you still put in the effort to read her profile.

The next important detail is to ensure that your profile represents you honestly and as someone a girl might like to get to know. A long detailed story of your entire life is boring. Too much energy spent trying to make me laugh and not tell me anything real about yourself is funny, but that only lasts so long. Appeal to me with a little humor, and with details that advertise yourself in a way that makes me think: this guy could be a keeper. Does he know what it takes to be in relationship? If you only lists your interests as muscle cars and video games (even though you also enjoy going out to eat, going to the movies, traveling, and spending time with your family), no one will know your wide range of interests unless you lists them. Without listing qualities that appeal to women, you won't come across as a good catch. Don't lie, but try to think about what you have to bring to the table. If you're good in bed translate that to language women want to hear: you are a passionate person who appreciates giving and receiving physical affection.

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"Most importantly, remember that women can translate your profile from guy code to women speak. "

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Most importantly, remember that women can translate your profile from guy code to women speak. If you say "don't message me if you're on medication" she will read that as: "his ex had to take a ton of pills to survive their relationship." When you talk about qualities you look for in a woman in your profile, make them positive qualities. Turn what you don't want into something that you do want. Instead of saying "I don't want a woman on medication;" instead say: "I'm looking for a woman who is optimistic, healthy and enjoys life." Try to think about it from a woman's perspective.

If you're wondering why you don't get a response after trying to pick up a woman online, try and follow the suggestions above and see if it improves. Stay tuned next week for my post: Appealing to Men Online: suggestions for women to attract the man they want.

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